


No Hiding from Death

by MegaWallflower



Category: Naruto
Genre: 1000 Years of Death, Blushing, Comedy, Flirting, Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Teasing, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaWallflower/pseuds/MegaWallflower
Summary: Ever the optimist, Naruto discovers a huge advantage Guy has over Kakashi now.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, implied
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110
Collections: KakaGai Week 2020 entries





	No Hiding from Death

“Heeeey, Guy-sensei! Guy-sensei! I just realized something good!” Naruto said suddenly, interjecting himself in the middle of one of Kakashi and Guy’s usual arguments about who would beat who at which contest. “You have the upper hand on Kakashi-sensei in fights now! No more ‘sneak attacks’!”

“Hm? Sneak attacks?” Guy echoed with a tilt of his head. He raised his eyebrows, intrigued as he rolled forward. “What do you mean, Naruto?”

Naruto gave Kakashi his signature smug, foxlike grin and snickered. Kakashi arched an eyebrow at him in doubt. “Wait, are you rooting for Guy against your own teacher?”

Guy mirrored Naruto’s grin and wheeled around to face him, practically bouncing in his seat in excitement, newly energized by Naruto’s positive spirit. “Ignore him, Naruto! You’re right to root for me! I have no idea which of Kakashi’s devious sneak attacks you’re referring to,” Guy enthused, “But I love your optimism! Almost as much as I love to hear how much better I am than Kakashi! Let’s hear it, Naruto! In what ways have I surpassed my ineffable rival?”

Kakashi just groaned and rolled his eyes, and Naruto kept snickering to himself.

“Come on, don’t play dumb, Bushier-Brow-sensei!” He whisper-shouted. “You know what I mean! _That_ move, you know! You have the perfect built-in defense against the super-secret, ultimate, legendary technique Kakashi-sensei created!” Naruto clasped his hands together and extended his middle and index fingers in a tiger seal, then thrust them forward, miming as if he were piercing an imaginary target in front of him. “Kakashi-sensei can’t hit you with that 1000 years of death move anymore!”

“Ah… Oh! That dreaded Hatake-clan technique!” Guy laughed along good-naturedly, answering Naruto’s giddy passion without missing a beat. “Kakashi has always been quick to use that wily attack! He’ll have to come up with a better technique now! That’s a brilliant point, Naruto!”

With a thumbs-up and a wink, Naruto declared, “It sure is! Your butt is safe now! Kakashi-sensei can’t get you from behind anymore!”

The corner of Kakashi’s mouth twitched in sly amusement. “I don’t know about that. I've still been more than able to get Guy from behind plenty of times since the war,” Kakashi hummed in a low, suggestive tone, massaging gentle circles into Guy’s shoulder. “Haven't I, Guy? You still leave yourself wide open for me all the time. I can’t count all the times you’ve had to take a ‘sneak attack’ from the back.”

Guy abruptly stopped laughing, gradually falling into a blushing mess when the words sunk in. Kakashi chuckled at the scandalized squeak that fell out of Guy’s mouth. “Kakashi—!”

“What? Seriously?” Naruto scrunched his nose, looking suspiciously from Guy to Kakashi, then back to Guy. “No way! You’re trying to trick me! He’s bluffing, isn’t he, Guy-sensei?!”

“That’s…! He’s, um, exaggerating quite a lot!” Guy managed to croak out before clearing his throat pointedly. “Right? That was an overstatement, isn’t it, Kakashi? I don’t leave my behind… that wide open. And taking it from the back ‘plenty’ of times…? That’s obviously hyperbole! I come out on top quite a bit!”

“Sure, you do.” Kakashi smiled sardonically and shrugged again, leaning most of his weight on Guy’s handlebars. “See? Guy can’t even properly deny it.” Kakashi winked. “I’ve got him whipped.”

“So, it’s really true…! But how? I was sure Guy-sensei had the ultimate defense against you! But how can you even…?” Stopping where he stood, eventually became that of confusion. “Tenten told me that’s a weapons-grade wheelchair! There’s no way!”

“In fact,” Kakashi continued playfully, lightly tracing a pattern into the nape of Guy’s neck with his fingertips. He smiled when he felt the shiver Guy failed to suppress. “His butt is probably still sore right now from our spar earlier today. I think I might have hit him a bit too hard.”

If Guy wasn’t so busy letting out a disgruntled noise and burying his quickly reddening face in his hands, he would probably have been able to come up with a better retort than mumbling out a quiet “Kakashi, that’s… I… Kakashi!!” He was beginning to lose track of what they were even talking about.

“I’ve never seen Bushier Brows-sensei at a loss for words before…” Naruto said incredulously.

Kakashi chuckled. “Well, it’s hard to hold back against my rival. You know how it is, Naruto.”

Naruto’s frown turned to a childish pout, but he eventually sighed, folded his arms, and nodded in begrudging understanding, even though the meaning behind Kakashi’s words was still flying far over his head. “Yeah, when you put it that way, I sorta get it. I don’t hold back against Sasuke either, you know.”

“I’m sure you don’t.”


End file.
